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Letters

This column is some place where I'll be dumping letters that I have obviously written for no reason. The first one I'm dumping here can be considered an example of how public traded companies truley care about the products they sell us.

This one happens to be one I sent to Master Foods, the people who provide us with the Snickers Marathon Bars. 

Dennis James Sattler
sunnysidesattler@ yahoo.com
General Delivery
Oceanside CA 92054

Master Foods USA
A Division of Mars Incorporated
Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503

Dear Sir:

My name is Dennis James Sattler. I am an inventor and writer and I wouldn't be surprised if you already know of me by the name of Sunnyside. It's because I've invented the work truck of the future and I've wrote a few books over the last decade explaining the reasons why people still have to call it the work truck of the future. However the books have proven to cover more ground globally, than the truck could have ever done. I'm not sure if people know about the truck because of the book, or the book because of the truck, but one thing for sure, people like both.

    Lately, I've been writing about my travels around Australia last year. However a current event has made me feel a little embarrassed to even mention an over indulgence of two large bags of Snickers, Marrathon Energy Bars in the back of a mini van I had to leave back in Australia.

    I tried to start a new life there in Australia, but I discovered that I had to come back to this country where I've said that the corruption I have had to experience would have a person homeless and eating worms on the side of the road if I didn't learn how to survive living homeless.

    The ironic part of all this is that once I came back to the US, I soon discovered I was paying for worms; right off the shelf at the grocery store.

    I don't know about you, but I think it's a little ironic.

After flying slope gliders in Carlsbad, California on March 5, 2006, I felt I needed one of those small and convenient multigrain Snickers bars because at times I thought of them as mini meal in a bar.

    I peeled back the wrapper and saw something like a spec of grain pop up. After another split second, there was more movement. One of the yellowish grains stood up as if it was trying to wave at me.

    Once I noticed the movements, I peeled back the wrapper and discover that there were quite a few well camouflaged maggots living amongst the multigrain inside the candy bar.

    Even my friends were amazed at how well the worms were surviving inside the multigrain bar. I knew I didn't have to say anything to anybody else about my horrifying experience, because everyone seems to have a word to say about me and those friends were sure to tell everybody and their brother about what they saw in my food.

    Embarrassing is: knowing that I have two large bags of the muti grain bars in the back of a mini-van in Australia. I have to wonder whether I had eaten maggots in the bars I had earlier. Whether I'd eaten some kind of worm that may and breed in one's stomach. Another concern is how much it would cost to get rid of them if you could?

    I just wondered where all this could go. The first thing I did was put the bar and its package inside a clean plastic bag in case it had been tapered with and had any finger prints other than mine on it.

    I didn't want to be the person spreading the bad news, or being any part of a panic, so I bought the remaining bars with the same batch numbers, I thought you folks at Master Foods USA would like to open one before your own eyes.

    I hope you'll find the time to read my Lousy Book.
    Give me a call, tell me what you think.

Sincerely,

    Dennis James Sattler

                        March 15, 2006

         PS: After seeing the referring key words people use with search engines on their way to this page, I can assure you that this wasn't not an isolated incident.

 


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