MyStupidRules.com        Sunnyside

Oil Spill near Santa Barbara:
Rule Numbers-
May 26, 2015:
Plains Midstream Canada, was cited for 10 crude oil spills between June 2004 and September 2007 in Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma and Kansas — resulting in a $3.25 million civil penalty in 2010.
       In 2010, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) announced that Plains had agreed to spend about $41 million to upgrade 10,420 miles of its pipeline, resolving its Clean Water Act violations.
       Since 2006, the Los Angeles Times reports, Plains has racked up 175 violations of safety and maintenance codes; an analysis of federal records revealed that the company’s rate of incidents per mile of pipe was more than three times the national average.
       Now they are saying that the pipe they used in Santa Barbara was too thin and didn't have certain valves.
       Don't you wonder that kind of information doesn't get reported to the rest of us through the press?

On Deflate-gate:
On this Tom Brady thing as you cal Deflat-gate.
       The question that hasn't been answered is did the management or even other team mates know about it?
       If so I think penalties of draft picks would be a good addition section against the whole team.
       Never the less, it was probably something that is common and done everywhere. What I get from the whole thing is basically two things. Just as I figured, Brady probably normally paid his help to set a couple a little extra low. But fear of the rain Brady wanted all of them so he could get more dry balls.
       The second part is where the trail began with a ball keeper getting greedy and was obviously wanting more kick backs in return, and you know how those texting freaks are. They don't know the difference of the power amusements or business.
       All and all, it was pretty much a stupid move, especially when the point spread shows that they probably didn't need to cheat, they weren't even behind.

And oh: for those people considering the point spread as a way of justifying what Brady did by thinking it's all good because they probably would have won anyway.
       But there are a couple of other things to consider when making just a judgment.
       Is all the money people had tied up in wagers and bets on the game. And there are fans on both sides that paid a heavy price to see a good game and a run-away game is never as much a a close fairly played games without any bad referee calls.

Rule 86 -another Mister Pro Surfer:
Rule Numbers- 4, 20 & 86
May 2nd, 2015:
I guess many of you are at the same speed as me, -figuring out that there may be a collision between people trying to steal my wave, me getting pissed off and the wave going to hell.
       All it took was waking in to Smart and Final to hear people talking about how the waves just turned to shit once that happened.
       From what it sounds like, the Mister pro Surfer is the one tagged with the name Collens.
       I kinna knew it was going to happen when it when down.
       The waves weren't that good in the first place, but everyone was getting their share of some half ass decent ones, -and some mister pro jacked up on a couple energy drinks decided that we had enough of them so he was going to take them all.

Gotta Chemistry Pro Surfer:
Rule Numbers- 4, 35, 86
April 17, 2015:
I'm guessing he's from from somewhere else and just visiting or something, -but by a quarter past noon, I was hearing people talk saying he was Chemistry Pro Surfer.
       I'm sure his name is mixed up in the gossip, but even if it was worth mentioning, I'd probubly spell his name wrong anyway, -because he is EVIL.

I didn't like the guy the minute he showed up on the scene .
       Like a guy who is either jacked up on steroids or maybe a couple of those energy drinks. Kinna like the high performance cam my buddy took right out of his car because he sure didn't think the engine would last long with it in it.
       You know the kinna guy, the kind of guy who will paddle a half a foot ball field at full-bore to catch a wave that some one else could be catching, (like a clever guy like me just waits for one to roll up to him.)
       But don't get me wrong; I like a guy who know how to hustle for a wave and I hate it when a guy that doesn't, just sits there, (in my way,) between me and a wave I could be hustling for, and catch.
       But to show up and try to steal every wave possible and then try to bitch out a guy who is dropping in on the shoulder on him is a little greedy and quite foolish if he thinks others are not up to their little tricks in trying to get rid of crowds, (or as we locals would say take over the place.)

Anyhow, I gave him the usual, but with a new Evil Curse bit mixed in.
       But that wasn't enough for the guy. Apparently others heard him say to me, "get out of my way Nigger!"

Well, maybe that's when my new Evil Curse bit kicked in, but the response to him was that it was pretty silly to think calling me a Niger would insult me because I've been called a Nigger Lover in the past, -several times and it never bothered me then.
       I don't know about you, but I always go with the context of how a word is used, and not necessarily the word itself.
       Never the less, -I'll tell you that his use of the word was of the negative evil kind, and I can thank him for warning me that he is Evil and I will from here out treat him accordingly.

Rule Number Eight
Got a Pro Surfer Rat today
Rule Numbers- 8, 33, 34, 65,65, 78, 85 & 88
November 3rd, 2014:

Sorry, I didn't supply the larger image with a click this time.
       I left the file at 101k so you have to zoom it on yourself.
       The Rat went out without a leash this morning and his board ran over my head.
       I told the guy he should be more considerate .
       He came back with "tuffshit, I'm a professional!"
       I came back with a camera.
       Can you believe the message he has written on his board?
       (People around here have been saying, "not around here.")
       Guess he one of those guys who pull in front of you so you quit paddling for the wave, from what I hear.)

I found this line on the CI web-site:
       With the support from his sponsors Nike, Creatures of Leisure, FCS fins and Channel Island Surfboards, Nat has traveled the world to compete for a place on the elite ASP World Tour amongst the best 32 surfers in the world. (CI had put a phrase in there saying he was doing it for America, but I wasn't about to let that line brainwashing you into thinking he gives a damn about anyone else.)
       The word on the street says this guy isn't even liked upon his own kind because they say he served up his buddies a few drops of water from a sewer ditch in Thailand. R-85
       And my buddy Mark insisted that he did the same thing in Portugal, and I can understand how people would put two and two together and figure it out the second time and not so much the first.

Hoover said he had three calls on me.
       Well it would have been even nicer of him to let me get a couple more.
       No doubt it was fun while it lasted, I could tell his arms were getting a little heavy. It looked to me he wishing he had doubled up on the energy drinks beforehand.
       I guess the right thing to do would have been the first to call the police but I was wanting to play it out because I wanted to see if his photographer buddy would try to spin everything to the cops, -and I was right about that too.
       Just seeing him run for the beach made it all worth while. I thought he hid in the garage under the peir but he had chicken ed out and paddled back out.
       Just seeing all of it play out made it so much more fun. It was real, I had a real live one, the kind of Surfer Rats I have been writing about the last couple days.
       He didn't just put a couple larger stickers on his board for nothing. Just he thinks he's famous like he and his sponsors wants him to be?
       Don't these sponsors pay these Rats for more for being famous?
       (I don't know about you, but I think he's famous enough because I've sure heard his name enough tonight and I don't want to hear it any more, -thank you.)

I bet this is where he keeps the nice ones. The ones for uncrowned waves, where their isn't anyone around to run into.
       Wonder if he can sell enough of those boards to be able to buy just as good of truck?

Surf Shop Rats
And other screwed up business practices.
Rule Numbers- 4, 33, 82, 85 & 86
October 29th, 2014:
I'm going to start out with today's post in support of the Auto Manufacture Tesla, for doing business without a middle man to move their cars.
       Governors in some states have thrown up road blocks by signing in new laws to block the sales of cars without private dealerships to peddle them.
       I would think that there should be anti-trust laws that are suppose to protect business from those kinds of things, but when the official who are suppose to be there to enforce the laws are all crooked and taking pay-offs....

There are a few more things I think that the surf industry is just to stupid to realize.
       One of the most obvious, and touched on quite a bit, but just not realized when it comes to commons sense to where you think the customers might come from.
       Basicly, if I was to have a surf shop, I'd realize the limitations upon how much I could pay employees, and just what kind of employee that kind of money can buy.
       Usually the budget will go to a young kid who would put some value in the discounts they can get on the things they want. Never the less, there is a difference in the quality of the employee whether they are young or older, just as if is a boy or girl.
       Girls tend to be looking for discounts on clothing and guys tend to be more interested in surf gear. Especially when they have access to the used stock of boards for their own pleasure.
       Now in my opinion, there are two types that I feel would make a surf shop the most money. Now I'm no salesman but I've known a few and I know what makes some better than the others.

Like Darv, a guy I knew who sold waterbeds for a living. Strickly on commission. His trick was to let the beds sell themselves and he wouldn't even approach the people until they had already found the one they wanted.
       Same goes for surfboards and the best kinds of person to sell them is an older guy who really doesn't know anything more than the basics about surfing. Wouldn't even have to surf himself to sell surfboards.
       Same goes for women young or old. If they know the basics, they can sell as many boards and any young guy who thinks he knows everything there is to know about a piece of foam.
       The last thing us older guys want to hear is some young whipper snapper telling us what is hot and what is not. Even more annoying is when they act like you don't know anything, yet we were surfing before they were born.

Like I bought a bar of wax from one of those guys yesterday. I wouldn't doubt he could be one of those foreigners who has rich parents, maybe in Kuwait, and who got rich of selling US military equipment after the Gulf War.
       They got there son a student visa and he took a couple courses over the summer. But then he landed a job in a surf shop where he has access to the entire used quiver. Since his job and surfing was taking up so much of his time, he decided to only take one class this quarter, but he's in no real rush to get though collage anyway.
       Well, the 135 pound kid saw the downsize of the waves on the surf report so last night he grabbed a board with 35 ltr. so he could accumulate a high wave count in the morning. For this kind of Surf Shop Rat and a board from the dreadful Used Board Rack, it doesn't matter to him whether he actually owns a surfboard of his own because the boss isn't likely to notice a crease in the board from playing bumper cars with other people's boards.
       Of course, the first thing he sees in the morning is Sunnyside, all by himself, picking off a right. (I call it being spotted from the parking lot.)
       Anyway, he thought he would just paddle out and sit outside me and pick off the waves before I get them.
       (Just the place I want to go buy an new surfboard and have the punk offer up to carry my new board out to my truck.)
       Do any of you get where I'm coming from?
       Do you even have a clue or any business sense what so ever?
       Yeah, that little know it all paddled over and boxed me in. I had to paddle too deep to stay in front of him, then of course he dropped in in front of me. Even though I made it, and he pulled out, -I had to shut down, -than catch up to the front of the wave , but not in enough to pump the ridge down the long stretch to the inside. The moron just flat out ruined one of my waves just by trying to steal it from me and I'm sure as hell not stupid enough to let the little bastard to get away with it if I can help it.
       (Funny how I could see the blood pump to his head when I suggested that he was probably an illegal alien.)
       I know how to fix that little punk. You grab his board the second you can your hands on it and rip the fins out of it. See what he thinks about having to pay for a screwed up board.

Halloween
Rule Numbers- 20, 51 & 88
October 31st, 2014:
I willing to bet there has been a shit load of those little meeting with the Bosses and all their Surf Rats standing around. You know, the one where you are the representative of the shop in or out of the water. You know, the bit about people connecting the two.
       Well, if that don't help, I got more.

Another thing that is the disgusting mark of the Surf Shop Rats is the Used Rack.
       It's just one bad result from Corporations filling up surf shops with boards based on a consignment of not actually having to pay for them for 6 months . Inside these consignment contracts is usually a deal where they have to sell them for the retail price as a way of price rigging throughout the stores that they stock. (That's why you don't see any deals on Name Brand boards.)

However, the Surf Shop Rats have somehow found a loop-whole in the price rigging and being and employee, getting and employee discount, gets them around the price rigging some how and they have the thirst the have a shiny new surfboard, just as most like to have a shiny new car.
       But what if you could have a shiny new car, every month, and it cost you less that $100.oo to have it?
       You could beat the shit out of it, run into others, and just squeeze some stuff out of a tube, sand it down and put it in the consignment rack at half price for someone else to buy and only pay about the same price as someone else is going to pay for his old screwed up used board.
      I guess one way they must be looking at it is that if the Surf Rats go out and damage other people's boards, those people will end up in the Surf Shops, buying more boards because they have Surf Shop Rats screwing up their old ones.
       R-88 I heard a couple Surf Shop Rats the other day, claiming that they brake them all the time, but I know that isn't true, it's just them trying to brag about themselves. I know just what happens to most of them and just where the go as well.

And don't think that Surf Shops are the only source for devious Surf Rats. I can name Two more that the end result is pretty much the same.
       I'm taking about the similarities in Sponsored Surfboard Rats and Rich Kid Rats.
       You ask any Surf Board manufacturer, that Sponsor Pro Surfers. Any of them will tell you that the Young Surfer brake more boards than the Older Surfers.
       Well, then you take a look at the Rich Rats who have parents that think their son is more likely to stay out of trouble if he's out surfing and it happens to be the only thing that makes the cry baby happy.
       See the deal is, these rich kids got their parent thinking that they are out doing aerials like in the videos they watch. So after a month or two of playing bumper cars with other surfers, the board will end up with something more than a 1/4 gash to fill in. (Not so new and shiny.)
       Anyhow, they, just like the pro surfer, the Rich Rat doesn't think a repaired board is going to do as much for his surfing as a new one, - so when they get home, they take the fins off, brake it in half and throw it in the trash.
       However, the Pro Surfers Rats often just figure that the beat board might have some trade-in value at an out of the way surf shop if the board is still in one piece.
       Another thing and what I have found the most discussing thing about Surfer Rats, is they often bash up other peoples boards and a way of crowd control. They'll just take over a brake by chasing people away by crashing into them.
       I know first hand and more than once or twice for sure. I've had one drop-in on the shoulder, turn the wrong way right towards me, and he ran his fist up under the front of my board.

Oh Ben
Rule Numbers- 1
November 1st, 2014:
After those double south swells formed a channel between our sand bars and our shores, I did my traveling around looking for other brakes that may have not weathered those swells so badly.
       Just as I often do no matter where I go on the California Coast, there will be people who claimed to surf with me before.
       That's nothing new, but when I went around recently, it wasn't uncommon to hear parts of conversations of people who have said I did a pretty good job of taming the crew that shows up at the Pier.
       And you know, I would have to agree it is a little more civilized than it used to be. I remember years back, before I went to Morro Bay I wouldn't even try to surf at the pier because I knew it would be a battle just to get a wave by yourself.
       Since I moved back, it's been kind of gradual and you can never eliminate crowds, but there has been kind of a change when you have someone who isn't afraid to call out someone when they are not playing fair.
       So you can bet there are a lot of surfers out there who are hoping that what I posted in the last couple days will help civilize their local brakes just as well.
       The whole objective is that everyone should end up having more enjoyable surf sessions in the future.

Oh I got more:
       I'm sure there are a few parents who are wondering if their son is a Rich Surfer Rat and wondering if he's taking them for a ride.
       The question is how often should my kid be up for a new surfboard?
       For the kid who's surfing is what he does, and that's his thing, and he surfs regularly, he'll probably be needing two. One for the Winter bigger waves, and the other for smaller summer waves. So in my opinion, one new board per year is not to many and not too little because a reasonable life span to a board is able two years and out of almost three decades of surfing, I've only broken two boards.
       Sometimes we need a spare just so we can take the time to dry out and repair a damaged board properly.
       If your kid is out braking boards, that's because you are not making sure that they are at least 2 1/2 inches thick. The 2 1/4 and 2 3/8" brake and that's why the surfboard manufactures fill the racks with them.
       (It's what I liked about a nice round tail Wahl sold to his neighbor kid in Santa Maria, it was at 2 1/2 inches thick. I bet you the last thing you would want is the neighbor kid coming back complaining that his surfboard just broke.)

And oh, if you are one of those people who give boards to Surf Rats who Want to be Pros. You should think of them as driving one of your cars around. A kid saying the board just broke should be thought of as the kid saying he wrecked the car.
       Now if your kid came home and said they wrecked the car, isn't the damage to the car the first thing you want to see? Yes of course, you want to see if there is any paint from another car don't you?
       Well before you hand over another board, (just as another set of keys to another car,) don't you want to see what kind of damage the board had been seeing before it was broken?

Surfing Industry is full of Speilberg Whores too
How to stop it 101
Rule Numbers- 4, 20, 33, 66, 85 & 88
October 24, 2014:
Some of you may agree that the surf industry is made up of some folks who just don't have there shit together.
       Like this whole thing going on right now is completely ridiculous.
       I still find it difficult to believe that they didn't just think it was better off not said and kept their mouths shut. But now I've had to be hunted with everyone going around saying that they want to sponsor me and the general public is neglecting to realize that a guy like Spielberg is thrown into the picture and I'm sure will step up to pay these suckers off just like the Hollywood movie producers that would show up in Morro Bay claiming the desire to make a movie about me.
       Sure I may not have the ability to get any of the money I made them, but I sure as hell know how to stop them from making money off me in the future.
       The funny thing about it is that I have to wait for a slow down in production which was predicted already, to be able to rent a booth to make my own.
       So what I'm saying is that I have to wait for some professionals to be out of a job to stop the loss of a 1,000 boards per week to workers in Thailand, because these workers in the USA are too stupid to be stuffing their foam shit down my throat.
       What do you expect of an industry that labeled their fins backwards anyway? It's taken than decade to realize that half of the science is volume and now it's finally becoming a standard for labeling as part of the measurements.
       One thing that gets me is why hasn't any of the shops ever come up with the Idea of getting 8 foot cattle trough with a side drain about six inches from the bottom so customers would be able to know the volume of any board. Hasn't anyone thought that people may not know what volume they are replacing.
       Also, it kinna would leave the truly hand shaped custom board out of the picture when comparing boards, so there is a major flaw in an industry who says that they even gives a shit about them selves, they've left themselves in the dark already.
       Then on the other hand, you have to look at the industry that uses computers and machines which provide an easy way of doing what the human side has already neglected to keep up with. It appears to me that people within the computer machine made surfboard industry are too dam stupid even realize that they already have a potential labelling technique, but humanly too stupid to think about using it.
       Got you all wandering what the hell it is don't I?
       Well I'll give you all some time to ponder between yourselves, and I predict that there will be a substantial percentage of you that already know what it is and in the end most will agree, that it is pretty stupid in this day and age the surf industry hasn't even capitalize on what is a standard and commonly know in the aviation industry.
       Even guys with RC planes know this shit and use it all the time.

May 16th, 2013 :
Rule 77

After yesterday I would more than any one would like to think that I just happened to have gotten myself in the way and chose to paddle the wrong direction, against the current yesterday.
     But then again, I did get ran over three times by two guys in a half hour. Of course my board nor myself is going to come out of it unscathed.
     Today my neck feels like it's been wrenched over by the knee of a 200 pound guy with 2 tons of water behind it. The second guy may have been just by chance since there are a few crazy one out there, but separating from my board didn't do anything about keeping me from being tangled up with it and the other guy and his board.
     Soliciting and being paid to harm to others is something I think would be illegal, in Nicaragua and I would imagine with there prisons, I doubt there would be any takers. But here in the US, the auto manufactures are above the law just like the police and firemen. I figured the guy was on who lacked common sense just by the look of the close outs he was launching himself on. But from what I gather, the guy was bragging about the fact that he made $100.oo doing it. Shit, call One Adam Twelve for me. I need a couple guys who can do it all.

November 4th, 2012:
Don't blame me

August 28, 2012:
It could be?

We don't know what it is, but there seems to be a strange side effect that has taken place during the transformation.
     Its hart still beats, but it seems to be from another time.
      Wonder if the Traction pad's mutation in to plad has anything to do with it.
     I don't know what it is, but I sure seem to be thinking about Gram, one who hung out with us in Gray's Harbor county. Gram always favoured round tails because he said that with less pre-determined angles, the boards turn more pivotal.

September 6th, 2012:
Is that grung I hear?

No doubt, I think I'm hearing things. That is I think I'm hearing things inside my surfboard. Its yelling, "I'm not Spaghetti!"
     Well, if you are not Spagetti, who are you then?
      I'm a surfboard, dam it!
     Well I know you're ah surfboard, but don't you have a name?
     What the hell does a surfboard need a name for anyway?
     Well, if I'm crazy enough to be talking to a surf board, and the surfboard is talking back to me, you better have a name or I'll think I'm crazy talking to thin air.
     You're not crazy. You are talking to a surfboard, but if I don't know your name, why should I tell you mind.
     Now you are sounding paranoid, and that's pretty crazy.
     Alright, alright. It's Kurt.
     Kurt - Kurt who? What the hell are you doing inside me surf board?
Kurt: Ah, hanging ten man. Dam-it! I'm suck in here!
     Well how in hell did you get stuck inside there?
     Would you believe; a little witch?
     Oh no way. They don't really exist do they?
Kurt: Well I'm proof of that don't you think? And by the way, who the hell are you?
     Dennis, Dennis Sattler.
Kurt: What's this Sunnyside shit I hear?
Sunnyside: That's kind of a long story.
Kurt: I don't know if I want to hear any of your long stories right now, but since it's been such a long time since I talked to anyone, I'll listen to just about anything.
     Dam it, let's not go there right know. Say hey, how did you like the waves today?
     Oh they were alright, but what the heck happened when I made that turn at the top and you almost left me behind?
     That's call being too tight guy. Yah change directions, I'm going that way with or without you. Smaller fins will give you a little more lee way and smooth things out.
     Oh gee thanks.

I like to go more vertical,
   so I liked the wave off the Stairway better.

Rule Number 1
April 2, '09: The last month, hasn't brought much for waves. However the other day I thought I'd go out for a few, but my Psycho II 4-3 has only about 1 mil left in the ass and leaks all over. So I drug out the old Hotline Brauny 5/4 from the early 90's. It's from the year where they came out with the flap that goes over your head so that the cross the chest zipper doesn't flush you so much. Well like an idiot, I had cut the flap out when I was in Santa Cruz about 7 years back.
     To my surprise, I had no idea about how much those zippers leaked and how much water sloshed around your back. How much you needed a bigger board to handle the extra weight. And not to mention the extra youth just to paddle around in those things. Hell you can get slammed by a wave and it doesn't even toss you around very much because it seems like you're a bit anchored there. The reality of it all made me realize just how determined a surfer had to be back in those days.
      The reason wrote this is that I wanted to mention how much lighter and more flexible wetsuits have revolutionized the way we surf today. At least for me, just after a few waves with this fortress of a wet suit, I realized just how much my surfing has evolved over the years. I found myself using my hips vigorously just trying to get the board to turn fast. My upper body was just something I was trying to balance above all the action below me instead of something I swing around as part of a maneuver.
  Thank God for better wet suits, and I pray that I can get a new one soon because my surfing will be compromised if I'm stuck with the old school.
      The Bottom line rules apply here are
      Rule Number 1 and Rule Number 16
      as for the in the olden days.
Kinna like my truck -verses- your motorized horse and buggies.

I think it should be against the law to surf a longboard if you are under the age of 55. It pisses me off when I see a guy half my age on a longboard. I learned on a 7'1' and see no reason why anyone would need to learn on anything longer than a 7'6". Longboards may be easy to get up on but they don't turn worth a damn and they create bad habits.
        In my opinion they mess up your shoulders from two things. One is from having to paddle off to the sides instead of from the front to underneath you which is actually in front of you. And from when you have to man handle the board again crashing waves. Often the square inch area of the board will allow the wave enough force to yank the board out of your arms. Often over extending the shoulder creating damage. Most old longboards will tell you that there is no way in hell they could paint the overhang on there house, because they can't hold their hands up over their heads.

However there is and exception for those rare guys who manage to rip on them just as I can recall a guy up at Moonstone about a year ago. I could tell by watching him standing on the tail as much as he could and what he was really good at was manipulating by throwing the nose around real quick.
       (And he never tried to snake me when he could have.)
        And there's bald headed guy on a green longboard in Morro Bay. The first time I even noticed him was when it was probably double over head and there was maybe three or for of us out there. As he paddled by I said, "are you crazy?"
       He just smiled and paddled by.
       He was someone I could always be sure to be out there when it was big and a little lonely out there, but we usually sat in different spots and never really got in each other's way.

Most guys on longboard look as though the board is taking them for a ride and they are always trying to catch there balance, (at the bottom of the wave and it seems like just a waste of perfectly good wave.

So take my advice, paddle like a man and learn how to take the drop on a short board, because if you are younger than me, you may just look like a big pussy on a longboard.

Jeff makes his own boards, he might have a few pointers

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This Tar shit. I don't know where it comes from , but if it came from BP or something or another like them, I wish they could stop by and clean this shit off my board for me.

Rest in peace
May 6, 1937 – April 20, 2014

Just one of those guys I can say would actually know how it feels when someone takes your life away.