From the full version of Sunnyside's Lousy Book.
Wanna buy a lawyer?
A customer/friend of mine who lives Westport, Washington also happens to be an inventor whom recommended a major law firm in Seattle. He said, "Their expensive, but their worth it in a long run. They charge more per hour than other firms I've used, but their service is better and they secured a patent in less time than the other firm I've used. Although they charged more per hour than the other firm, the total cost of getting the patent less than the other firm."
A lawyer at the firm said it would be wise to do a patent search before taking on the expense of a patent application. He said the cost of a patent search was $200.00 and would take two to three weeks receive the results. Of course silly little me couldn't wait that long, so to find out in as soon as two or three days, he said the charged would be $700.00 to expedite the faster service.
Think about how I felt when I received the letter in the mail from the Seattle law firm in response to the patent search when I noticed it said, "We can obtain a patent on your invention for you." I stepped out of my trailer, jumped up and down, hooting and hollering. A disappointing thing about that point in time in my life is that I really didn't have anyone to celebrate the news with. It was just between me, myself, and I. No doubt anyone would be happy as a lark. It would have been nice to have some-one to celebrate it with, but by then I couldn't expect others to be very happy for me. It was too bad my parents had already acted as if it was of no importance and a waste of my time. When I did inform my friends and family of the results of the patent search, I got just the enthusiasm I thought I would get. Not much.
I called my credit card companies and persuaded them to raise the limit on my credit cards so I could come up with the $5,000.00 retainer the law firm was asking for. The patent attorney said he would have application done in six to eight weeks. Believe me; a lot can happen in six to eight weeks. And, was he telling the truth?
(Later on down the road,) I was able to look over their billing and discovered the invoice from the law firm on the east coast that performed the patent search; it was a billing for $200.00. I guess the other $ 500.00 was for the law firm in Seattle for having their lawyer look over the patents that came up in a patent search and writing me the letter about what he found in the claims. The interesting thing about the letter I paid $500.00 for is that it has since disappeared from a safe deposit box. I've learn that this just happens to be illegal for any patent lawyer to say they can get anyone a patent. So it sheds a little light on the interest of the individuals who have been in the banks safe now doesn't it?
The next chapter of Sunnyside's Lousy Book is:
It would be nice to have a larger bed
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