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From the full version of Sunnyside's Lousy Book

Smells Funny

Back home in Tacoma: It was a hot summer day when I stepped into the air conditioned paint store in Spanaway. I was there to pick up some masking materials for the custom home John was building. The store employees were in the back room mixing paint and the usual fumes from the mixing room was present out in front. I noticed two older ladies wandering around the front of the store and I assumed that they were waiting on a custom mix. The ladies had large hand bags under their arms and before I knew it, they were gone and I was left in the front of the store all alone.
       Soon I realized I had a pain in my chest. My heart was thumping and I needed to catch my breath. The sidewalk out in front of the store was baking in the sun and I’m sure it was near 100 degrees out there, but fresh air was what I needed and in the heat was where I was going to find it. As soon as I made it out the door my breath came back within seconds. My chest calmed down as I opened the front door for awhile to let the gases dissipate before I went back in. When purchased the merchandise I needed, I said to the salesman, "What are you trying to gas me to death?"
       As I was about to leave, I ran into John's friend Dave in the parking lot. Told him about old ladies that had just tried to gas me, but I’m not sure if he believed me or not. However, when I paid a visit to him at his house at a later time for one reason or another, he said, “Be careful of what you say.”
       I said, “I understand what you mean, but I’ve just about said everything, or at least wrote everything down in one way or another. I realize I need to be careful but there really aren’t any rules when it comes to these sorts of things. The thing is that you’ve got to get people to talk so that others take notice of what’s going on.

I was scared and I knew sooner or later, they or whoever were going to put me out of commission one way or another. When I arrived at John's custom, I told him about the things that have been happening to me. I said, "John I think it's absolutely silly to have a guy who is worth so much, climbing around on ladders three stories up. It puts me under pressure to be extremely careful and it stresses me out. Then I also have to worry about someone trying to kill me at the same time." I was worried about a possible sniper which could shoot me from several blocks away.

The next chapter of Sunnyside's Lousy Book is:


Rule Number 77


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Smells Funny is:

Keep your mouth shut Sattler

 

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