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From the full version of Sunnyside's Lousy Book

Dead Man

Well it's a little easier for me when I know about the phony set-up people everywhere I go. It's just part of their game to be around me. Like the time my fuel pump went out at the gas station. I wondered if someone might be tailing me. I figured they might find a way to be around since I was stuck there. After a few attempts to barrow someone’s wrench to bleed the injectors on the fuel controlling pump, a guy who had a wrench finally came through. He seemed innocent enough as to the possibility of being a tail. A few minutes later, an older guy appeared out of nowhere and I figured he was more likely a set-up person who had moved in close to find out what I might say to the other guy. I wasn't sure if the guy with the wrench knew about me or not, but I talked as if he did. One thing for sure when the second guy moved in, I knew I was a good time for a rumor test. Rule 88.
       My emotions expressed that I was pissed off at everything going on around me and the emotions, only made me appear more passionately intense. I was laid the shit down about the fact that Chrysler wired all the park lights with the used of 18 gauge wire. How their quick fix scared the hell out of me because it was a cheap was of avoiding a fire. I made sure to rub it in real good because I wanted to see if the on-looker -- as nosey as he was – could be a tail. I pointed out the lousy air filter gauge setup. Mentioned the speedometer that needs a pound on the dash once in a while to get it working, and the fuel gauge that isn't worth paying the $300.00 to fix because the odds are that the sending unite will only go out in another year or so.
       Well my truck started and made it out to the nearby intersection, but it stalled again. I got a pushed out of the intersection with some help from guys who worked at a tire shop across the street. They pushed me into their parking lot and I used their phone to call a friend who soon came by to tow me home.
       Later that night I walked up to the local Skipper’s® fish and chips later that evening. While standing in line, I had my answer to my suspicion of having a tail at the gas station earlier. They planted set-up people talking shit that I was a dead man. Well it answered one question in a way, or at least illuminates one of the suspected source of my tails. I was sure it wasn't Chrysler tailing me, because they wouldn't go around spreading such rumors. It would think the folks at Chrysler wouldn’t be so stupid if it was true.

I never thought my secondary friends would be used in the conspiracy game until I realized the possibility that I might know someone in my neighborhood, who I might call if I needed a lift somewhere. Tom was friend I met through Dean and he lived only a few blocks away.
       For a ride up to the Cummings dealer, I thought Tom was one who was nearby and it wouldn’t be so much of an inconvenience to help me out. Turned out Tom had a plugged sewer drain so told him to rent a motorized snake and we’d run it though his drain pipe a couple times. I said that his landlord would rather he did it himself instead of calling a plumber to do it. I said, “Send him a copy of the receipt and deduct it from your rent.”
       While we were clearing his pipes, he told me of how great Pill Grants for his son’s college education were. He said they pay for more than just the education -- they get money to spare -- and they don't have to pay it back.
       He drove me down to the Cummins dealer in Fife to get the new fuel pump. When we got back, Tom had expressed the desire to see the inside of the shop I’d rented. I thought it was strange when he asked for a tour of my shop, considering he's the type of guy that thinks a fishing tackle box with a hammer, a few screw drivers, and a pair of vise grips make up a man’s’ tool box. Not knowing if he was interested in my inventions or just the shop since he has a business of his own got me wondering.
       I figured my place had a camera planted across the street as well as bugs inside the shop. I knew all I would have to do is ask Tom for confidentiality before he even got to pass the door. A gave him a tour of the shop and paint booth and then I waited to hear any rumors.

I found myself sitting at Tom’s kitchen table, having a discussion with his wife about the things that had been going on. I mentioned that I was working on a book and of course the suggestion I’d heard before came up. The: “Why don’t you call the F.B.I., or something?”
       So I took it up on her and barrowed her phone book right there and then. I called the F.B.I. and the attorney general’s office. Of course they’d lend a concerned ear, but they couldn’t find any reason to follow up on the matter, or even check out my book.
       I was amazed to see Tom's wife’s reaction over what I had just gone through in the half hour between the two of us. She was just about in tears when I had the book sitting on the table in front of her. I proved to her that I couldn’t get anywhere with any of her advice.
       I have to wonder if any of these suspicions might have any truth to them, because we have to wonder if she realized she was caught up in the history my book is written all about.

The next chapter of Sunnyside's Lousy Book is:

New Year’s Eve

Have you seen the otherBook Excerpts?


> Sunnyside's Lousy Book
> Lousy Book Condensed
> Sunnyside - Good Things
> Stalking Buffy
> Book History
> What Celebrities say
> Book Excerpts
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> Rule No. 1-15
> Rule No. 16-39
> Rule No. 40-66
> Rule No. 70-100


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