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From the full version of Sunnyside's Lousy Book

Fudged Journal Entries

       (Dates have been altered and content rearranged)

Hell – Check it out; they have rearranged the whole thing. I’ve always wished I’d smashed the truck up sooner because I don’t think I would have smashed up my PW bed if I had. The only reason I think they would have altered it in such a fashion was a goal of making me look as though I’d gone crazy, but I think you know better by now and I’m putting the trash they created out of my journal just to show you that things just don’t add up as they say they do. So here is some wasted space in my book just to prove the case in point. Which happens to be worth very little, but what the hell – it’s amusing.

June 5, 1999: The people in Paris France know about me too. I heard people yelling, “What about Sunnyside!” during the Tennis Match on TV this morning. I bet during this golf game I will hear people talk about me. I think I have already to tell you the truth.
       During the golf game I listened to a conversation between a few people who were talking about me in the back ground noise of the announcer. I heard a lady say my book is posted all over the internet and it is hard to determine which variation is the real one. As I figured -- they would combat it with phony ones. It’s strange how I've never found anything on the internet about it myself.

June 7, 1999: Looks like Ram Jet got bought. Of the ten minutes I was there, he was in the other room. He say's "I see this going on all the time." It is safe to say he is afraid of being around me and having his mother knowing what has been going down. I wonder if his mother really inherited the money he said she gave him for his boat. It was about the time he told me I needed some help mentally that he was building the shop he has never showed me. I always thought of R.J. as the type of guy that would make sure I saw his new shop. But if all this stuff has anything to do with dirty money, it would also explain why his wife left him the second time around. Oh well, seeing R.J. again only made me feel like I didn't grow old like many of the people I grew up with. I guess this living on the edge kind of keeps you young in a way. That routine way of life never fit me.
       Do you folks realize how close it is before I'm begging for food? There isn't much chance of me making a living when they chase all your customers away. The very place that has been pulling me through the past few years is just flat out too scared to deal with the baggage that is tailing me. I can't see how any-body could survive.
       I wonder if you guys really what to see me starve. The trans-mission is gone. You know what that means? I'll make $30 this week and I won't see that for over a month. That is if my truck can make two trips. I better put everything I got in the pawn shop while I still have something to take the stuff there with. This is bail out time. The cashing in the chips, and making a run for the border. I got things handled and I have to make the jump. I'll wash my truck for the last time Wednesday, with good weather I will make it shine and make a video to boot. It's getting some body work while it is still rolling. I feel like going out there and doing it know. Ah tomorrow rain or shine. On my way to the pawn shop. Fuck washing the thing; I've had to wash the thing for your ass. Now why don't you be proud for what I've had to go through?
       I’m so pissed off that I really want to do it now. But for your lousy sake I want a good show for you. The film would be worth more money to you, than what I owe on it.
       Fuck, I should go do it. I sure want to. What a bunch of fucking morons.
       I think I can make it more of a work of art if I take my time at it. Yah wanna watch? I should start out with a three pound; I'll start out doing the window post. Then go to the 8 pound and see if I can do the doors nice without screwing up the window tracks. Then I’ll get out the 10 pound sludge and do the fenders and hood. I'll have to watch where my pump is. I might prop the hood up and then beat a dome for my belts. Pozzin hah? Bumper would fall victim to it to. I’ll just save the glass and headlights. Who knows if the weather is nice maybe I will make it into a top less cab. It would be pretty noisy though. It will look happy. I won't even scratch my babe until it quits rolling. Then I'll do a hydraulic demonstration video.
       Did you see in the movie Poltergeist, with the Indian and the station wagon? June 7, 1999: Looks like something finally went in my favor. I was surprised that the guys at the pawn shop didn't have people busting the door down to get to my bass the last few days. I ready didn't think they would sell it out from underneath me, but with this kind of conspiracy, I wouldn't put it passed the fact that the crooks would know my due dates better than I myself. The fact that may calendar was found its way back to the month of May for a few days last week had me wondering if it was a set-up. My Fender is about the most precious possession I have. Everything else I can replace. Too bad my walking cane fell into the category of things that can’t be replaced. Basically of the three non-replaceable things I've had, my Fender is the only one I have left. I wouldn’t doubt that the society I've have to live in would see no problem taking that from me too. Heck yah can't eat it, but isn't that what I'm doing with all my possessions in the pawn shop?
       Hey I got two posts for a sign out front. I got a better brush for doing letters now. Maybe after my truck is a pile of rubble I will find the time to finish the sign and put the flower planter in front of it. You never know, I could create a tourist trap. Maybe people will being flowers and lay it to rest.
       Rule No. 1 in a big way. But I've just got to find a way out of this place and the thought of taking my truck with me is not the reasonable plan when you’ve got no money.
       We've got some good movie making light. Ah my truck looks clean enough.
       Yee Haw. I better wait so Cascade doesn’t have to have an ugly piece of junk roll through their place. I'd much rather have the people on the street see it beat up though. I'm going to make sure I get some time with it when I don't have to worry about scratching it. It looks like all the effort to keep it strait for demo purposes was a waste of energy.

June 8th of 1999? Well I don't know how it feels when you divorce a bitch, but smashing up my truck felt at least that good. It's the cutting of the ball and chain kind of thing. The thing doesn't deserve to be in the same museum. My Baby feels much better. It didn't like promoting a Chrysler product either. One smack into my favorite bed felt so good I had to take a better run out of it. It was so cool I wish I would have recorded it. It felt so good that I couldn't deprive me from screwing up the cab. Yeah. My P- bed was my favorite. Sad day for the history of the United States of America. Yet I have to buy the gas to cut it up into pieces.
       Oh no, Key Bank is going to have to come and get the chassis. It's their junk, not mine. Anybody need a fresh Cummins? I'll swap. Well taken care of. Anyone need a boat anchor? I got this thing the folks at Chrysler call a transmission. Oh I'm sorry it's the banks.
       When I bought my truck, I didn't really care about how it looked. I just thought I was buying the top of the line and I figure it would at least keep running until it was paid for. Boy was I ever wrong. I bought a classic piece of junk. Then I figure I am paying into part of my problem. Making payments on it and even buying it in the first place was and is like cutting my own throat.
       Chrysler sure hasn't helped me any, so why should I more or less indorse of promote their product in anyway. The fact that they would sit back and watch it fall apart shows me that they don't care that they sell you ticking time bombs. That is a vehicle that is destined to fall apart and they know it. The auto manufactures just what you to trade them in on new ones. So if you folks that want to buy a new vehicle should take a look at my truck and think about the reason a guy would do such a thing.
       Sure there are those people who will say what I did was crazy, but I'm sure there are many that will say they would do the same thing. I'm sure as hell not going to be a bulletin board for Chrysler. I would have a little more pride.

June 9th of 1999? A.M. Well I sit here wondering why I screwed up my PW Bed. I should say at first there were several reasons in a sense. To me I guess I know someday I'll have several of them and if I feel like trashing one, that’s just fine. At least for now that is the way I except it. Basically when it got down to it, it was either the bed or the garage doors. I wanted to show this nosey neighbor guy what it looks like to back the truck through the shop. The bed was right there and it took the heat. It felt good doing it right in front of his kids and their proud father. Like when I took a picture of the rubble. He happens to be right there of course, “So I would think it would make crooks happy,” I said. He didn't what to show his face very well. His wife and kids where front row when I to the sledge after the cab. I'm going to make sure they are not home when I do in the rest of the truck. I realize I really don't want my baby broke down on the side of the road somewhere. I have no money to tow it so I better stripe it down or cut it up into pieces. I don't even have money for gas so I'm going to have to pawn my welder to buy some in the morning. I figure I can justify the money for gas if I scrap the P-bed and T__________ and sell it for scrape. Then I will have the gas I need for the six bracket pieces with six holes I need. After that all I need is a video. Get this; it doesn’t matter to me if the truck is still rolling next week. As long as that engine starts, I'm in business.
       I'll play around with the M______ and then it too will go by the waste side. I will end up eating my truck. All I care about is having $75 in less than thirty days. You never know, I might just come by and steal some of your food. I hope God will spare me that part of this game, but if that's what you what to see me do. I'm sure somehow we could arrange that, I'm not afraid. I'm a tuff boy now. Hell I've been through shit before. I figure since I pissed on the last GM product I had. Well I can learn to shit on this Chrysler product. Wanna watch? I'll make a video of it. I'll wait until one of those runny days. I'll get up on top the cab and let her rip. Key Bank is going to love this one.
       I'm worried about getting all my stuff out of here so the land lord won't get stuck with all my junk. That's why it's just best to scrape this stuff and recycle it while I still can. After hitting my bed today I just about found myself getting out the chains too early. I keep thinking: Gee why don't I find a cheap used older truck and put my system on it? It's EZ; I have no money to buy anything. I wonder how many people have this kind of thing happening to them. I’d say they got the dates all fucked up.

6-8-99: Maybe I should have pawned the pressure washer in-stead. I guess its natural instinct to protect livelihood. But really the odds of me getting any work are pretty slim. Funny how I used to get about 95% of what I bid on and now I'm not getting 25% of what I used to look at and then the odds of what I get from the few possibilities has dropped to about nothing.
       I'm sure the stupid word called something like the “a” word is running through peoples head. Well we can say that a light weight four foot wide T-Bar floor bed can sure hold the weight of the ass end of my truck pretty good. One thing I hope I can find is the weight of the bed all together. I'd say a major screw up. But test show, it's a pretty tough bed. Someday I will get to do further testing and I will determine the weight of it in sections. I'm going to keep the rear wheels around for another one just about like it. The rear wheels and Cross member were some of the coolest features. I hope I can keep them and the original tail piece because they are pozzin.
       I got the neighbors daughter to tell me what they think. She said I was a psychotic lunatic. Oh well it doesn’t mean I don't deserve what's mine. I'm glad she thinks so, because maybe it will keep her from ever using anything of mine. At least I'm not some moron as I told her.
       The shit around here has got to go and I just have to take that step. Too bad I can't take it with me. I already accept myself as a homeless person. Sitting here is just like having a money pit for getting nowhere but getting exploited. I can't see the reason behind it but I'm living it. This is reality folks. Conspiracies can run a person into the ground right in front of you and if they can do this to me this way and get away with it; I'd be worried about who to be next. That very thing they say about of how it is hard for a government to take over an armed civilian population makes a lot of sense. Go ahead, hand them over your guns. Like with Rule Number One; you just might find out about how valuable they are once they’re gone.
       In the case of this materialistic truck thing: I've lived with the fact that I was going to have to ditch it anyway because I can't afford to take it with me. To me the trans-p is already scraped to pay for my acetylene. Can't use it anyway and it saves the trouble of scraping it when I have no truck.
       June 10th of 1999? Another sad day for America. Key Bank called and said they were coming to take my truck.

At the time my book was around 50,000 words. I knew it was worth more than the million dollars I’d heard it was on the street.

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