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Stalking Buffy

The conception actually began under a Journal Column titled Girls & Boys and more Girls. It's where I usually listed the Girl of the Day Awards.

One night as I was watching Jay Leno's Tonight Show, a girl came on. She was not only charming, but cute as can be. The impression I got was that she really knew how to act like a lady and a fairly bright one too. She was just darling.

She was so impressive, that I opened up my journal entries file to Boys and Girls and More Girls, and gave her the Girl of the Day award.

I didn't think much more of her until I heard rumors on the street stating that Sarah Michelle Gellar had read my stuff and that she liked me because of it.

After I thought about it a while, I just figured her publicist must have mentioned something scrupulous like that just to get the phones ringing. Then I thought, that if a publicist could create such a rumor to get publicity, the best thing I could do was hop on the band wagon. I decided to play along with the game so I might receive a little publicity as well.

Believe me, when something like a fairy-tail fantasy publicity stunt lands in your lap, you better run with it because much of problems within our society is how the media can isolate the true front-page news by only letting us see what their corporate sponsors will allow.

What I had here was the possibility to brake the prescribed agenda the news media has with a fairy-tail romance story.

The plot I had to run with was that someone had planted a transmitter in my computer, and folks in Hollywood managed to get access to what I was writing. (Kind of true really.) But the hitch that made it work was that Sarah Michellel Gellar couldn't contact me in any way because of advertising contracts negotiated for her weekly television show. (Chrysler and Toyota was where her money was coming from.)

That prompted the bases for the plan. I had to plant a few fictional phone conversations with friends, just to make people truly wonder if my affection for the girl was real.

I really had it made, because Sarah was on all the magazine covers and she had no known boy friend in the public eye. The stuff I was able to read about her stimulated my creativity enough to come up with material. But after a while the magazines were not enough because everything about her got repeated so much.

That's when I broke down and had the $10 per month cable service  installed. I just had to find out what Buffy was all about. Thanks to Joss Whedon, it was a pleasant surprise because I admired his writing crew.

My whole fantasy love affair got a little diverted to more about the Hollywood production known as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was sorta like I had joined a fan club. I wrote some scripts as if Sunnyside was a guest visitor on the show. I even did one for Joss Whedon's other show known as Angel; selling stolen government property to Angel. (Night vision goggles.)

Update: I found some old scripts I wrote, called Poop Too. I've decided to post them sometime soon. They will show you how I was running an on going game with the media and at the time I hoped using personalities from Hollywood would get things going on the west coast.

July 19, 2007: dropped by Sarah Michelle Gellar's publist's office. Funny how Nichole King didn't work there any more, but I think Paul Baker slipped up and said he'd have Nichole dig up the file and see what was there.
         Boy, do I ever have something to say about the Sheriff's Department in LA. However, they said that there was nothing on the computer about me.
        I also drove across LA to get a copy of the arrest report, only to have a black cop tell me that I'd have to hire a lawyer and supeina the court to get one. I mentioned that I had thought it was suppose to be public records. He wouldn't even let me in the door and threatened to arrest me if I tried. (I guess I'll have to write it all out in my book.)
(Update: August 12th, it's been about 3 weeks and I haven't heard back from SMG's publisist. It looks as though it's impossible to even prove that I've never been around her. I guess everyone has a price.)
       It's like I'm being stalked by Buffy


> Burning Down the House
> Sunnyside's Lousy Book
> Sunnyside - Good Things
> Stalking Buffy
> Book History
> What Celebirties say
> Book Excerpts
> Site Map
> Rule No. 1-15
> Rule No. 16-39
> Rule No. 40-66
> Rule No. 70-100

Stalking Buffy

5.5 x 8.5   160 pages


Sunnysides Lousy Book


Burning Down the House






Book History


I read in the Self Magazine about Sarah Mechelle Gellar having this thing about mailing off personal thank you notes to everyone who she has contact through work or what ever.

It would be real nice if Sarah could at least send me a letter thanking me for never stalking her.

And please if it's you Sarah, reading this, the address is:
Dennis J. Sattler,
General Delivery,
Oceanside, CA 92049


October 1st, 2013:
I get a kick out of how phoney SMG is. She always said shit like be happy with yourself just the way you are no matter what other people say.
     Well her mother wasn't smart enough to tape her ears down after she was born, so after the Burger king commercial, she had them surgically cropped.
     Then after her gig as Kendell on the soap opera in New York as a teenager, the ridges on her front teeth disappeared, so I can assume she had bright white veneers put on when she got to Hollywood and landed the Buffy gig.
     It's my guess she found out that veneers don't let you floss very well and she probably ended up with gum disease because of it.
     And now of course, I had to laugh last night when I saw her on the Letterman Show; showing off her new long bright and shinny teeth for the cameras. They look like the same implants that everyone else seems to be waring now days.
      And the outfit she wore only confirmed what I thought was going on in her new show. That she's picked up a fat ass after dropping a couple kids and she's obviously trying to hide it.
      What a phoney bitch and boy, the way she turned out, I figure she'd drive most guys a little crazy just listening to her run her mouth off, and that's not crazy in a good way either.
     I have to say it was a little bit insulting as to the ways she started out on the Letterman,s Show talking about the good aspects of stalking; referring to how she landed her new gig, but considering the way things are, fuck you bitch!

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